Y dice...

And Everyone Should Get Along
Okay Children Quiet Down, Quiet Down
Children I'd Like To Introduce Our New Substitute Teacher For The Day
His Name Is Mr. Shady
Children Quiet Down Please

Brian Don't Throw That
Mr. Shady Will Be Your New Substitute
While Mr. Kaniff Is Out With Pneumonia
Good Luck Mr. Shady

Hi There Little Boys And Girls
Today We're Gonna To Learn How To Poison Squirrels
But First, I'd Like You To Meet My Friend Bob

Say Hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 30 And Still Lives With His Mom
And He Don't Got A Job, Cause Bob Sits At Home And Smokes Pot
But His Twelve-Year Old Brother Looks Up To Him An Awful Lot
And Bob Likes To Hang Out At The Local Waffle Spot

And Wait In The Parkin Lot For Waitresses Off The Clock
When It's Late And The Lot Gets Dark And Fake Like He Walks His Dog
Drag 'em In The Woods And Go Straight To The Chopping Blocks
And Even If They Escaped And They Got The Cops

The Ladies Would All Be So Afraid, They Would Drop The Charge
'til One Night Mrs. Stacey Went Off The Job
When She Felt Someone Grab Her Whole Face And Said Not To Talk
But Stacey Knew It Was Bob And Said Knock It Off

But Bob Wouldn't Knock It Off Cause He's Crazy And Off His Rocker
Crazier Than Slim Shady Is Off The Vodka
You Couldn't Even Take Him To Dre's To Get Bob A "Dr."
He Grabbed Stace' By The Legs As Chopped It Off Her

And Dropped Her Off In The Lake For The Cops To Find Her
But Ever Since The Day Stacey Went Off To Wander
They Never Found Her, And Bob Still Hangs At The Waffle Diner

And That's The Story Of Bob And His Marijuana,
And What It Might Do To You
So See If The Squirrels Want Any - It's Bad For You

See Children, Drugs Are Bahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Me, Ask Ya Dahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Him, Ask Ya Mom
She'll Tell You How She Does 'em All The Time

So Kids Say No To Drugs
So You Don't Act Like Everyone Else Does
Then There's Really Nothin Else To Say
Drugs Are Just Bad, Mmm'kay?

My Penis Is The Size Of A Peanut, Have You Seen It?
Fuck No You Ain't Seen It, It's The Size Of A Peanut
Speakin Of Peanuts, You Know What Else Is Bad For Squirrels?

Ecstasy Is The Worst Drug In The World
If Someone Ever Offers It To You, Don't Do It
Kids Two Hits'll Probably Drain All Your Spinal Fluid
And Spinal Fluid Is Final, You Won't Get It Back

So Don't Get Attached, It'll Attack Every Bone In Your Back
Meet Zach, Twenty-One Years Old
After Hangin Out With Some Friends At A Frat Party, He Gets Bold
And Decides To Try Five, When He's Bribed By Five Guys

And Peer Pressure Will Win Every Time You Try To Fight It
Suddenly, He Starts To Convulse And His Pulse Goes Into Hyperdrive
And His Eyes Roll Back In His Skull {*Blblblblblb*}
His Back Starts Tah - Look Like The Mcdonald's Arches

He's On Donald's Carpet, Layin Horizontal Barfin {*Bleh*}
And Everyone In The Apartment Starts Laughin At Him
"Hey Adam, Zach Is A Jackass, Look At Him!"
Cause They Took It Too, So They Think It's Funny

So They're Laughing At Basically Nothing Except Maybe Wasting His Money
Meanwhile, Zach's In A Coma, The Action Is Over
And His Back And His Shoulders Hunched Up Like He's Practicin Yoga
And That's The Story Of Zach, The Ecstasy Maniac
So Don't Even Feed That To Squirrels Class, Cause It's Bad For You

See Children, Drugs Are Bahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Me, Ask Ya Dahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Him, Ask Ya Mom
She'll Tell You How She Does 'em All The Time

So Kids Say No To Drugs
So You Don't Act Like Everyone Else Does
And There's Really Nothin Else To Say
Drugs Are Just Bad, Mmm'kay?

And Last But Not Least, One Of The Most Humungous
Problems Among Young People Today, Is Fungus
It Grows From Cow Manure, They Pick It Out, Wipe It Off,

Bag It Up, And You Put It Right In Your Mouth And Chew It
Yum Yum! Then You Start To See Some Dumb Stuff
And Everything Slows Down When You Eat Some Of 'em..

And Sometimes You See Things That Aren't There
Like Fat Woman In G-Strings With Orange Hair
It's Yarn Claire

Women Stick 'em Up Their Behinds, Go Out And Wear 'em
And If You Swallow Too Much Of The Magic Mushrooms
Whoops, Did I Say Magic Mushrooms? I Meant Fungus

Ya Tongue Gets, All Swoll Up Like A Cow's Tongue
Cause It Comes From A Cow's Dung
See Drugs Are Bad, It's A Common Fact

But Your Mom And Dad, Know That's All That I'm Good At
But Don't Be Me, Cause If You Grow Up And You Go And O.D.
They're Gonna Come For Me And I'ma Have To Grow A Goatee

And Get A Disguise And Hide, Cause It'll Be My Fault
So Don't Do Drugs, And Do Exactly As I Don't,
Cause I'm Bad For You

See Children, Drugs Are Bahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Me, Ask Ya Dahhhd
And If You Don't Believe Him, Ask Ya Mom
She'll Tell You How She Does 'em All The Time

So Kids Say No To Drugs
So You Don't Act Like Everyone Else Does
And There's Really Nothin Else To Say
Drugs Are Just Bad, Mmm'kay?

Come On Children, Clap Along
Sing Along Children
Drugs Are Just Bad, Drugs Are Just Bad

So Don't Do Drugs
So There'll Be More For Me

Fin